Dreams

"What? You have a husband and not to mention, you’re a stay-at-home mom with five children! What are you thinking?" This always comes to mind when I think of things that I desire to do or get involved in, outside of my home. “You’re going to neglect something,” I continue to say to myself. None of these are true. So what is it that drives this kind of thinking? I set out to figure out why I can’t embrace what I desire and know I can achieve. So my journey begins…

I recently joined a life group at my church. My objective was to get to know and fellowship with Godly women. As I attend these weekly meetings, I am challenged by God to dig deeper. Much deeper than I thought would take place over a typical cup of Starbucks. In our life group we are reading a book written by Dr. Leslie Parrott titled You Matter More Than You Think. In this book Dr. Parrott shows us how each and every component of our life makes us who we are. She writes not only for us to recognize but to also embrace these parts of our life.

So here we are on a usual Tuesday morning, books open, coffee cups full, and fellowship in full swing. Our group leader poses us with two chapter related questions, “What have you dreamt of? Where does the Lord want you to go in your life?” As I sit there taken back from these powerful questions, my mind starts to turn. Me? I want my children to be strong Godly men and women. No, no, no. Not my children, me. What have I dreamt of for me? Our homework for the week is to make a list of ten things we’ve dreamt of for our life and where the Lord wants to take us. Okay, I can do that. I get home and grab a piece of paper and I title it Dreams, underline the title twice, put a number one on the top line and sit there. Ten minutes later, I’m still sitting with no progress. Then I hear the Lord tell me, “Anything that you write on that paper isn’t going to matter much without talking to Me first?” I fall to my knees and I start to pray.